I must admit my knowledge of Brian Eno is limited. And, I'm ashamed. But, I remember listening to this song in June and feeling the stress of life melt. Now as I listen to it there is a thick coating of ice outside, and a feeling of hopelessness pings in my lungs, I still listen and feel the stress melt away. Maybe everything will be okay.

Maybe.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0jqPvpn3sY

A Dear Friend

As I sat and counted 5s, a man approached me. Usually there are a few people who are not thwarted by the closed gate, and often ask for trivial things. This man, I recognized. He wore a dark trucker baseball hat, a white shirt, and a leather jacket. His glasses are what stuck out to me the most–they were aviators that framed his somewhat square face perfectly. His white beard and mustache masked a curious look.
"Aren't you the girl who wears the yellow flower?" he said.
"Yes, I am."I said. Still trying to place him.
"What are you doing over here? Don't you work at the other hospital? We miss you over there."
I smiled a bit as I remembered him and our various chats about life and fishing and weather.
"Oh, yeah..." I start to say. "I'm over here now."
"Oh, okay. Well, it was good to see you!"
And just as quickly as he appeared he was gone.
I felt a tiny jerk inside of my stomach that I thought would develop into tears. But instead a smile grew on my face. Life can hurt and be unexpected, but life can be lovely as well.

Of this I am certain, of this I am sure

No one knows what is wrong with me, they peek and glance;
They wonder why I am stuck in such an awful trance.
They would never guess, the reason for someone so young and so sweet
to shower tiny tears upon the street

But I know why, of course I know why
There is an easy answer, so straight and so wry.
If I tell you, will you promise not to shout?
Will you not roll your eyes and cause such a bout?

I will tell you because it is my heart.

My heart is so broken,
of this I am certain, of this I am sure,
What once was sweet and made so pure;
Has turned to pain and dread
But my love for you, will never shrink and will never die, of course
of this I am certain, of this I am sure.
of this I am certain, of this I am sure.

I Carry Your Heart

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go, my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear no fate(for you are my fate, my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)”
e.e. cummings

my cat is sad
no one else in her family is a cat
we are all human except for her
she is excluded from most things
and no one tells her why
she just wants to play
and be loved
she looks at us with wonder
and disappointment
she says hello i am a cat what is my existence
what is that/ why it and not me/ please can you look at me and love me too
can i have some of your food please i'm sorry i don't like my food much
do you want to play with my toys? this one is my favourite
do you like me
are we sisters
why didn't i grow up
why am i so small
can you help me be happy
where are you going



notbyme

I hear the noise–the deafening noise. I cover my ears, but it doesn't matter.
I close my eyes and try to pretend;
I remember lying in your red bed.
You would put on a record and lie next to me.
You turn to me,
that's all.